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[16 Dec 2005|02:36pm] |
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ITs been a very long time. I got a lil mad when I got on here today cause i didnt sign in and wanted to check every ones shit see how they are and all the post were real old. Didnt realize that was because damn near ever one is friends only now. So how is every one. I miss you guys
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[01 Apr 2005|10:07pm] |
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yeah and that whole undate journal button moving when you go to click on it is FUCKING DUMB
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[01 Apr 2005|10:04pm] |
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Yeah so finance hasnt fixed my pay yet.....grrr they own me so much fucking money. So now my 1st shirt is going to go with me monday. So i bought an iPod, yeah i dono why. It was more than half my pay check lol and the other half went to my internet bill 193 fucking euro......that would be $258....yeah not a smart move but. I will have 20 gigs of music to listen to while we run every day.
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[01 Apr 2005|03:58pm] |
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I have gray hairs on my face.....................GRRRRRRRRRR and even when i shave i can still see them ( i dont use a blade razor, it makes my face yucky).
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[31 Mar 2005|10:35pm] |
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its my little brothers bday and i cant ever reach him on the phone. this 7 hour thing sucks.
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[29 Mar 2005|05:04pm] |
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Well. I don’t really post too much any more. Many excuses, but I wont bore you with them. And for many of you this might mean nothing at all. But if you have been in the military I think it will. It’s a job and at the same time a life. And when you start this job/life style certain things are drilled into you and your thought process. It’s a life of rules, regulations, and traditions. And if your lucky enough to enter as enlisted (said in a very sarcastic voice) your taught to respect someone based on how many stripes they have on their arm or what piece of metal they have pinned to their hat and shoulder. And almost fear them. Because after all you are just an Airman, the bottom of the enlisted barrel. You are taught that these NCO’s and officers are there to guide you, to be people you should look up to and aspire to become like. Because after all these are the people who will be your boss and your boss’s boss. I have been in for almost a year now (wow time flys) and now for the first time I am part of the operational Air Force. I have spent the last 10 months training, not really in much contact with officers or NCO’s except as instructors. So I really had no idea of what it was like to work with them. What I am trying to get to is this. Promotions are given based on a test. And altho this maybe a good system, it has one major drawback. Poor NCO’s and Officers make it thru to even higher ranks. You have an idea of what these people should be and act like and its shitty when you can wear a rank that requires someone to respect it (because you have to respect the rank but not the man/woman) and you don’t deserve it. I have known great NCO’s and Officers that I have a lot of respect for. And I have met a lot I respect solely because of their rank. Just makes me mad.
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| Strange... |
[01 Mar 2005|02:47pm] |
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Well today was a long day. I know I am in the military and all. But most days it seems like any other job. Even more so when I was in the states, cause it was just learning my job and shit. So today we had to get our NBC gear (Nuclear, bio, chem) and we had to put it on and shit. And that with some of the things were saw and were told today, it just hit me for a second that its not a normal job. That I really am in the military.I dono. Just a random thought I had
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[24 Feb 2005|10:00am] |
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Well I am in Germany after my flight was delayed for 3 days yeah long story. I am 6 hours ahead of you guys in NY, So Got here around 5am this morning and I am now on my way to work at 1030am yeah great I know. But I wanted to say I am here safe and I will posst oagain soon.
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[24 Dec 2004|03:37am] |
home......and it feels so nice. give me a call this week end and i will try and stop and see you guys 571-4081...i left my cell phone in Tx so I will have this one while i am in NY. hope every one has a greeat x-mas
so fucking happy
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[18 Nov 2004|05:42pm] |
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Today 2 of the best friends I’ve made here graduated and left for their next base in Ca. We were at the hotel bring Lahti’s stuff in and an older man was walking past us. I would say he was about 55 or up. And as we passed him he stopped and turned and looked at us. He asked us “are you soldiers?” We replied “Airmen sir, were in the Air Force.” He said thank you and shook each of of our hands. And it just made me feel really good.
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[12 Nov 2004|12:48am] |
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It is amazing the lengths we humans go to in the search of meeting members of the opposite sex. It just struck me tonight as I was at a club. Every one dressed up, most likely with clothes they just bought for the night or weekend. Soaked in perfume and cologne. Drinking to try and lower their inhibitions or maybe just their standards. Drink after countless drink are sold in pursuit of these goals. Most of them time for nothing because people still don’t have the balls to hit on some one. So at the end of the night most people have fail and go home alone. And the ones that do go home with some one, what good is it? How many people in the history of the world met and fell in love with some one they picked up at a bar, thinking it would be a one night stand? And yes it may happen but what are the odds.
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[06 Nov 2004|08:38am] |
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for any of you that live in Utica.... I was in the OD on the 4th take a look cause i have no idea what it says or looks like
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[25 Oct 2004|05:52pm] |
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ACS SUCKS
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[18 Oct 2004|08:45pm] |
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Been doing alot more thinking and writing.........will try to post more often...the last post was typed the other weekend while i was really drunk...Woke up and was like wow. I remembered typing something but I had no idea about what till I read it my self in the morning......So many mixed feelings still. But 4am come early so I have to get in bed and its not even 9pm yet lol....Hope every one is doing well at ACS and every one I kno in Utica.... good night evey one
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[18 Oct 2004|08:40pm] |
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And so much rage and fear fester in me that I don’t know what to do with. Afraid that if I try to release it, it will some how come spilling over. Unable to stop something I’ve started. Ideas planted in my head since birth. Destroy, break, and kill. All part of a days work now. Lost in this world of orders, told what do to and think. I find my self questioning my own opinion, opinions that I had held for so long. I feel my self slipping from my self no matter how hard I try to hold on. A job well done. Forget your thoughts and views and think what well tell you too. Listen not to your conscience, but to the voice who out ranks you. Military before humanity.
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[18 Oct 2004|04:06pm] |
Growing up. Something we all must do sooner or later. In these times how does it affect us? In the world we live in every one is in such a rush to grow up and leave. Get out on their own and start their own life. But what is the impact of the way we do this today? We no longer just move across town or a short drive away. We so often push this wedge of distance between us and all that we have ever known. And in doing this force a completely new life upon our selves. We leave behind family, friends, and familiar places for the unknown. As we grow we become so discontent with where we grew up we can’t wait to leave. We force our selves to hate a place that no matter how hard we try to stop it, becomes a part of us. Our habits, our slang, our style, our home affects every aspect of us. Then once you remove your self from these things you feel free of them and of your past. For a while any way. Then as time passes you begin to miss and long for all the things you forced your self to hate. You may even realize that you can’t hate your home town with out hating a part of your self. Because it will always be a part of you.
Also. Being able to wake up and know that the world hasnt changed that much. That your best friend will be there when you call. Or the girl with the most beautiful smile you’ve ever known is just a car ride away. The small comforts that when added together make life worth living. All of these so far away now. Only memories you hold on to so tightly, afraid they may slip away from you.
Once you thought growing up was the greatest thing in the world. You couldn’t wait to do it. Then once it’s happened you realize that you couldn’t have been more wrong. Naive not to bask in the moments that you would later wish you could relive indefinitely.
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[17 Oct 2004|09:19pm] |
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So to come home its going to cost me fucking almost 400 bucks. JESUS what is wrong with people....and we are told what times we can leave. My flight cant leave before 8am....if I could take the 7am flight it would only cost 250.....Im just going to have to sleep with a flight atendent.
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[16 Oct 2004|01:54am] |
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big post toomorrow.........a llil too drunk to post now
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[05 Oct 2004|11:16am] |
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Well my 21st has come and gone. Thanks to my roommate and a few friends it was a rerally good time. We went to a Octoberfest. And even tho they wouldnt take my military ID and I couldnt drink I had a good time. We didnt stay long and went to a bar, and wow I got drunk. The cops came in and for the 1st time i didnt have to get scared and give some one my drink to hold. The night ended with us going back to the hotel with a few girls we met, but as soon as we got in to the parking lot I started to throw up and it lasted the rest of the night. Yes so I slept most of the night in the bath room lol but what else can you do on your 21st. It was as good of a time as I could have had with out my friends from home. I'm still going to party like it was my bday when I get home tho. The only thing that could have made my bday better was ass. But lol its hard to do that when ur throwing up all night. Alruight back to class
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